In Memoriam

Like the stars may you shine

Be faithful and true

'Til death takes you from us

Or us from you

The Bernard Brothers were one of the most popular comedy variety acts of the 1940's and 1950's. Their bill matter was 'Off the Record'. Their speciality was miming and dancing to records. They were Headliners in North & South America and in Europe

Bert Bernard (Water Rat number 536) was born Herbert James Maxwell in Boston, USA. He found fame as a juvenile dancer playing the American vaudeville circuits and in musical comedies until he teamed up with George Bernard in 1932. In 1938 the Bernard Dancers appeared in the Folies Bergeres in Paris and in the same year moved to London. During WWII Bert served in the US Army Air Force and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. Bert & George began their miming routine as a joke at a party but it quickly became a major part of their act. At that time it was a totally novel act. But within a short time there were dozens of similar copy-cat acts. They appeared in the 1948 Royal Variety Show along with Danny Kaye, Flanagan & Allen, Ted Ray and a young Julie Andrews. They were great favourites at the London Palladium where they did many pantomimes and variety shows throughout the early Fifties. They regarded the Lido in Paris as their second home. However, their miming act came to a sudden end when record companies refused permission to use their records. They continued as comic dancers until George's death in 1968 (aged 58) when Bert returned to America where he continued to do club work for many years.

Secretary to the Trustees, John Adrian

Past King Rat Harry Seltzer BM & Bar was born in Hull on 7 August 1909 and made his first stage appearance at the local Alexandra Theatre in the same city. His first London appearance was at the Bedford Music Hall in Camden Town.

Harry was made a Water Rat (Number 408) on 15 November 1942 and was proposed by Teddy Brown and seconded by Ray Leo Murray. By 1945 he was made Trap Guard and the following year elected to the office of Collecting Rat. He also held the unique position of being Prince Rat on three separate occasions in 1961, 1963, and 1968. The following year he was elected to the highest office possible that of King Rat. In 1975 he held the office of Treasurer of The Grand Order of Water Rats and in 1982 was made a Trustee of the GOWR.

His performing career began appearing as a boy ventriloquist in Will Murray’s Casey’s Court. Will taught Harry to walk and talk and he copied everyone that came into the show. He practiced tap dancing at the digs till 3.o/clock in the morning in his socks so as not wake anyone up! He even tried his hand at juggling. In the end he took up eccentric dancing and worked the variety halls. In 1950 he toured South Africa with a Star Studded London Palladium Variety Show billing himself as Harry “Alka” Seltzer. The programme went on to say: ‘This diminutive lithe comedian with feet as sparkling as his comedy, and a face of incredible mobility, flexible as rubber, into which he always had a cigar. Bubbling over with original ideas he could mime, dance, tell rib cracking stories in an inimitable manner and sing in a catchy style. Harry appeared with all the top names of the day Tommy Trinder, George Formby, Bud Flanagan, Bebe Daniels & Ben Lyon. He toured with Buster Keaton where I am sure they both learned from each other.

Harry passed away on 21 September 2004. Rest in peace Harry in the knowledge that you were a unique personality within this Grand Old Order of ours. You always had a smile and a twinkle in your eye. We will all miss you greatly.

Chris Woodward, Trap Guard 2004

Howard Keel (Harold Clifford Leek) who was born in Illinois, USA, had, in his own words “a terrible, rotten childhood”. His father, a former naval officer became a coal miner and a drunk and died when Howard was eleven years old. His mother a strict Methodist forbade him to go to any form of entertainment, and beat him severely.

However, in his twenties, whilst working as a mechanic, he went to a recital by the famous baritone Laurence Tibbett. The effect was so great that he took singing lesson in the evenings. His first job was as a singing waiter in Los Angeles earning $15 a week plus two meals a day. With a natural rich and powerful quality of voice he was soon summoned to audition for Oscar Hammerstein II for the part of Curly in the touring production of “Oklahama”. His subsequent career, as the major male lead, reads like a Who’s Who of the great musicals – “Oklahoma” and “Carousel” on Broadway and London, and with MGM “Annie Get Your Gun”, “Kismet”, Showboat, Kiss Me Kate and Calamity Jane. His personal favourite was “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers”. He said in an interview, in 1993, “It was lots of fun to make and had a fine cast, but they did the damn thing on the cheap. The backdrops had holes in them, and it was only due to the cinematographer who worked a miracle and made that junk like a Grandma Moses painting”.

By the beginning of the 1960’s the old-style musical was fading so Keel moved into to straight acting, including a part in the film “The Day of the Triffids”. He continued to make a lucrative living but missed the glamour of Hollywood. He developed a drink problem, which saw the end of his second marriage to Helen Anderson. Happily he was saved by two lucky breaks. The first was meeting a 25-year-old air hostess, Judy Magamoll, who knew nothing of the Howard Keel legend. They were married and the 66-year-old Keel was about to retire when he was offered the part of Miss Ellie’s husband, Clayton Farlow in the smash hit soap “Dallas”.

“My life changed enormously” he said, “from being out of it I was suddenly a star. I started making solo albums for the first time in my career.” These sold in substantial numbers and on his concert tours he became a ‘sex-symbol’, albeit to the over-sixties. “A thousand corsets creaked in time to his lilting melodies”, said one report of his London concert in 1984.

Howard Keel was initiated into the Water Rats (Register No. 789) in November 1994.

He is survived by beloved wife Judy and his 4 children.

Secretary to the Trustees, John Adrian

Billy, who was born in Sunderland, was possibly the greatest ukulele player of his generation. Taking an early interest in music he studied the piano at school and became the singer in a jazz band. To give him something to do during the instrumental numbers the band-leader gave him a ukulele with the instruction “Pretend you’re playing this”. As they say the rest is history.

During WWII he toured with ENSA. Sadly, he never made records but did over a 1000 radio broadcasts. He was even sited in one of the Goon Shows when Dennis Main said “Tonight, I have included in my repertoire, Schubert’s violin sonata, with guest soloist Billy “Uke” Scott.”

As a composer he had over 30 songs published, including, “I’ve Got A Girlfriend”, “A Nice Prefabricated Home”, “What Is The Good of a Good Girl?” and “ You Go On With Your Show”, a song containing the following words, which Past King Roy Hudd says sums up the life of a Variety pro:

Travelling round in a small revue

Learn the game like the troopers do

‘Til you’ve caught every train from Crewe

You go on with Your Show.

Once it’s over you’re feeling grand,

Had them eating out of your hand.

If you didn’t you blame the band – and go on with your show.

At the age of forty, having appeared at all the major theatres in Britain and having worked alongside most of the Big Names in Showbiz, Billy left the stage to work in television, and was responsible for giving several stars their ‘big break’ – talented newcomers such as Jimmy Tarbuck, Mike Yarwood and Tom O’Connor.

Billy retired to Southport  but still played occasional shows. A few years back he did a show in Manchester and performers show biz parodies of famous songs. They were all updated and brilliant. Happily Mike Craig recorded them just for the Rats.

Billy joined the Water Rats in November 1952 having been proposed by George Bolton and seconded by Bob Pearson. He was the 518th member of the Order.

He is survived by his devoted wife, Anne, and their four children.

Secretary to the Trustees, John Adrian